Monday, October 25, 2010

Enveloping Shadow

Prancing along aimlessly, I seek to influence those whose minds are weakest. With a spring in my step, arrogance on my breath, and devious intent, I catch a glimpse of my next victim. She sits on the park bench nearly every day during her lunch break. She is unique yet faceless and nameless among many. Vulnerable out in the open and away from warmth, she is prime for targeting. It's the face, though. That's what catches my attention as I can see behind her blank stare the unhappiness, the insecurity, the coldness. She takes another long drag of her cigarette.

Quickly now, I must creep up her spine; give her that shivering sensation of “revelation” so many others have felt. It's okay now for her to be a bit more reckless, less responsible, less ambitious. Right now, she thinks what I've just influenced will suffice perfectly. And another is prepared to contribute to further degeneration.

Hippity-hop, I'm no Easter Bunny, bringing malaise and discontent. Perhaps you are confused and are wondering why it is I am doing what I am doing and what my purpose is. I've had great success today so I'll stop for a moment to explain. I am the embodiment of all that is hopeless, all that is lazy, all that is irresponsible, and all that seeks to dumb down the smart, smarten up the dumb, take from those with much, give little back to those with few, and all the while fain a smile through my blackened teeth for which you see as angelically white. I'm a twister of words, a manipulator of emotions, a rhetorical wizard, and the mother of all parasites.

My style of influence is to begin at the small of your back. Like thick, hot breath invisible to the naked eye, I tingle my way up your spine through your neck and into your mind. Inside, I tickle your emotional fancy working my fingers to separate the part of your brain that reminds you of reality so my gospel can have the greatest impact. It's really quite simple and once I've got my hold on you, I let your own mental momentum finish the job. While you snowball into mislead ideology, I've slipped away undetected to slither from shadow to shadow to find my next host.

I suppose you can call me a substitute. It's essentially my job to remove certain norms of life and free existence that have worked and existed for centuries to inject a plague of seemingly new ideas wrapped up sweetly and labeled progression. Of course, there are some too strong willed to be bothered or penetrated. And with my growing success and years of experience, I can usually spot them without hesitation.


So please, continue to be a sheep among the flocks of sheep. Continue to seek ways to avoid responsibility, to get out of trouble, to not have to work too hard, and to appear blameless while aspects of life shatter around you. Hearing the sounds of chaos only serve to direct my kind more quickly. The emptier and less meaningful existence can be for someone, the brighter they shine in my dark eyes. And when that tingle creeps up your spine and into your mind, you won't know it's me but I'll know it's you. For the menace I bring will have found another new home and comfortable it shall be.

Oh look, the lady from the park bench has gotten up and flicked her cigarette onto the ground. Ahead of her, the world bends and shadow envelopes the forming tunnel ahead. Lucky for me, she's only staring down at her two feet as her pace quickens.

CMW

Sunday, September 26, 2010

The Trouble Tree

The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start. While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.

On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again."

He paused. "Funny thing is," he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick 'em up, there ain't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."

--Unknown

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Beauty

She walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies; and all that's best of dark and bright. Meet in her aspect and her eyes.” --George Gordon Byron

I truly feel beauty is found in simplicity. Not just beads of dew on a flower, but on the flower that grows inside a cemetery. Not just a quiet look upon a solemn face, but on the face of someone looking upon art or history. Not just the wrinkles around the eyes of an old man, but the eyes of someone who has seen war and peace, life and death, and everything in between. There are times I would sooner stare at a picture of ocean waves than be in them.

Would it be that life should become much simpler to live if I approach it with much less worry and concern? I think so. People seem far more drawn to someone who is there but is simple in his mannerisms and expression. To sink beyond the eyes of others around you would defeat the purpose, but once inside a social circle, that is when you can truly shine.

In my minds eye, I picture an elderly Native American sitting in the shade somewhere in the desert. He seems still yet his breathing gives way to his being. You can nearly trace what he has been through in the creases on his round, dark face. His hair is long and peppered with gray strands that reach to his middle back; braided with a small feather stuck through a leather braid holder at the bottom. As he stares out across the barren land, he doesn't appear to be lost in thought but deep in contemplation. Stone washed denim jacket, dark blue Wrangler jeans, and worn boots, a drop of sweat slowly works its way down the rises and falls of the skin on his face. He embodies so much more than the life he's had, he represents a Nation's origin and the plight of a people.

Holding this vision still is beauty.

Mysteriously is how some live but far too actively in pursuit of giving off a sense of elusiveness. The attention these people receive is typically wrought with frivolity and shallowness but then again, are they not the same? So how does one find a balance in keeping oneself truly elusive but without over doing it? I think it begins in the mind.

Over time, many famous artists have used complexity to illustrate beauty. From Picaso to Renoir, from Da Vinci to Gogan; many have used “busy” moments of life to embody the viewer with a chance to find simplicity and beauty in that captured moment. Much like these incredible works of art, so too are the minds of people who would have others see them as simple and mysterious, but truly are not. For you see, although the act may create that sense, the audience still must find the simple qualities which is not simple at all. If one were to merely empty the mind, clear emotions, leave care and concern behind, and approach each situation with only one thought, then simplicity does not follow but leads.

Therefore I find that focus and determination in any given moment—only about that given moment—will yield the greatest beauty. Yes, even one's toils can show that beauty is not just a verb, but a noun as well. Do not live subjectively but objectively. Focus but do not linger. In each moment, risk the chance to relish and breathe in life you normally would have passed in haste. And so, dare to walk a straight, thin line in what you do but also dare to draw your line where you wish to go. For in that, beauty can be found as well.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Uneasy Fondness of Retirement

The following is an adaptation of Tea Kettle and the Cornfield with further development and based upon the MMORPG game World of Warcraft.

Each morning, Magni would get up and slowly make his way down the old, creaky stairs and today was no different ... except for a feeling. At the landing, he stops to catch his breath taking in two lungs full of fresh, cool, mountain air. Magni is an elderly gent and former King of Ironforge. Retired now and alone, he resides in the cliff-side cottage his great-grandfather built well before the War of the Three Hammers. Though times have certainly changed, the encroaching effects of Dwarven life have not reached his part of the mountains yet.

The cottage is a modest structure, two stories in height, with enough room for three comfortably. Handcrafted using the smoothest stones from the Gol'Bolar quarry and supported by large, Douglas Fir beams, the home may not boast a lot of cubic feet but it is sturdy and stout just like its creator. Entry to the home is through a finely detailed and Dwarven patterned door with inlaid iron brackets; a gift to Magni after he announced he would be leaving the thrown. Once inside, one can see the kitchen and small dining nook to the left and the large, front sitting room to the right. The fireplace is how one would imagine it, overtly huge in scale and made from smooth granite rocks topped with a chestnut mantle. Of course, the crowning piece to the room is the bulging front window framed with some of the same rocks used for the fireplace. The window was specially made with triangular pieces lined together using the finest copper stripping which has turned a deep, emerald green with time.

Further back in from the sitting room is a where the stairs carry up to the second floor going up half way as you come in and then turning right to continue up to the top story. At the foot of the stairs and tucked into the corner is a bookshelf littered with ancient texts and tomes that have been collected for nearly two centuries. Down to the left of the stair case and behind a wall separating the front area is a small hallway that leads to Magni's private study. Many a strategic plan was laid out to his generals in there before feasting on wild boar and enjoying some home brewed honey mead. And finally, upstairs is nothing too spectacular, just a set of three bedrooms all very cozy in size and most importantly, perfect.

Upon stepping inside, a visitor's nose is met with a mixture of wood and spice scents indicative of the hundreds of years this solitary home has stood on these peaks. Dimly lit by candles and oil lamps, it is certainly easy to feel at home immediately upon entering. Seasons and generations of life, laughter, tears, and memories rush the senses and it is almost a must that one stop for a moment and take it all in. If not for the nostalgia and history, then surely out of respect for the many great men who have come from inside. Of course, the view is breath taking as well and most visitors find themselves spending a few more moments enjoying it.

With one arm propped up on the carved hand rail, Magni takes a moment to scan the home looking at the various knickknacks his family has collected over the years. Along the hallway to his right are some paintings his grandmother purchased depicting various members of the family. At the end of the hall in the study Magni sees the hunting trophies mounted on the wall he and his father caught when he was a boy. He sighs for a moment and then spots an intricate clock Gelbin Mekkatorque ordered made for him in honor of his 25th anniversary as King. The Gnomes are friends and have been for many seasons now. Magni grins and softly chuckles at the memory of the many antics and adventures he shared with Gelbin and others who have long passed.

It has been said that to see through the eyes of a king is to see both sovereignty and strife. One could surmise that had Magni been borne into any other family, he may very well have served in some other fashion for his people. Just gazing at this face, it is easy to see the wear, and looking deeper one can begin to tell time has not always been good to him. And then he smiles and the wrinkles in his face fold together much like Father Winter's. Rosy cheeks and nose, silver and white hair, thick and wooly beard, Magni is majesty and majestic to behold. To be in his presence is like walking through a hundred years worth of time and history. It truly is an honor.

Oddly enough, though, few have been granted the knowledge that under Magni's leadership, the crafty Dwarves carved secret lairs and tunnels throughout Ironforge Mountain. What many see as a cavernous and bustling city upon passing through the monstrous gates never do see the full glory of what is behind the massive granite walls. Originally, Ironforge was much more modest and before even Madoran Bronzebeard was king, the Dwarves enjoyed a much deeper and cozier lair. But, as most species experience, growth and prosperity led to an explosion in population and it was deemed necessary to expand. Over a century of work was put in and what is seen now is roughly only half of what truly lies deeper into the mountain.

If one were to be granted access to these secret areas, one's eyes would be filled with the true riches of the Clan. Mithril, gold, silver, and copper coins, figurines, ornaments, and precious wares and heirlooms fill the passages and storage rooms found deep inside. And if one should progress further, he or she would eventually be led outside to the top of the mountain, to a plateau where Gnome engineers built a landing strip for military purposes. Of course, finding your way to Magni's home is well known in the region, but he enjoys a much quicker, albeit secret route directly from the throne room where the new King resides today. Just East of the Misty Pine Refuge and Tundrid Hills is where you will find the once great thane-king living out the remainder of his days and friendly visitors are always welcome.

Peering down over his thick, braided beard, Magni sees Modi skitter by then quickly turn around to graze up against his leg. Given to him as a kitten by his old friend Hilary Ashlock of Lakeshire, the colorful feline has been by his side for a long time. Often his only companion, Magni has spent many a quiet, chilly day fishing along the shores of Helm's Bed Lake watching his furry pal chase butterflies and paw at his infrequent catches.

With a purr and two sweeps, Modi heads back into the front room to take his spot on the rocky sill under the large window. Crudely named for one of the greatest king to come out of the Bronzebeard clan, Magni grins at his calico and takes in one last deep inhale of the chilly morning air. He strolls into the kitchen to begin his morning ritual: Hot tea, toasted honey bread with goat butter, and a quick glimpse through the parchment scrolled stories of his long deceased hero, Modimus Anvilmar. It was something his father did when he was just a boy and the tradition lives on.

Using Anvilmar's writings and going by his descriptions of war and combat, Magni grew up here learning to be an expert blacksmith and how to become one of the bravest kings in Bronzebeard and Ironforge history. In those days and before a lava vent was breached inside the cave, Gol'Bolar was a quarry riddled with Troggs and other foul beasts that lurk below the surfaces of seemingly peaceful places. It was the perfect location to hone his skills in weaponry, survival, and endurance. With the ever-watchful eye of his father nearby, Magni as a young boy would learn the fine arts of overpowering a foe and building the strength he would need to lead a successful Clan and nation. These days, however, Gol'Bolar is a lake and a year round favorite spot for him and Modi to go swimming and enjoy the relatively new hot spring it has become.

Folding over a section of the scroll, Magni spots a chapter Anvilmar wrote early on during his reign. In his writings, Modimus expressed some anxiety over the tensions that subtly lie within Ironforge between the Dark Iron and Wildhammer Clans. Though the Bronzebeard Clan was responsible for most of the daily ins and outs of maintaining the kingdom, Modimus felt more needed to be done to bring these otherwise rival Clans together. Years of toil and hardship to fortify an already mighty kingdom had begun to take its toll on the people and it was his idea to set up an area where young Dwarves could gather and begin training in the finer arts of war and industrialism. His hope was to see this area not only help the Dwarven race become stronger but forge a greater bond between the Clans as well.

Magni senses the significance of such an ideal and although time and warring efforts would sidetrack Anvilmar's plans, he can certainly see how it has positively affected his people even up to today. It took more time than ever intended but the training grounds still stand and many a young Dwarf and Gnome have honed their skills and gone on to greater things. With a sigh, Magni's reading turns to a stale gaze as he reminisces the last time he heard this story from the lips of his father many seasons ago.

He drifts into memory …

It was just before the sun came up during the height of the war with the Dark Iron Clan. Magni felt the pressure of the door to his room opening well before he heard it swing. He sensed he needed to open his eyes prior to him even knowing what was going on. Stumbling in was Magni's mother, eyes and cheeks saturated with tears but she never made a sound. She was always a quiet woman even during the toughest of times; that was and is the Dwarven way. She stood in the doorway with the creeping light of dawn coming in from the hall window behind her, making her seem more like a shadowy presence than a broken woman. As she stumbled into the room quietly, Magni could see the candle light glinting on her cheeks. Then he saw her eyes—saw into them and saw what she was quietly not able to say through her sobs.

He gazed up and stared at the ceiling feeling a tear well up in the corner of his left eye. It took a moment before the warm droplet made a cool streak down his cheek for he already felt in his heart what had happened. His mother stayed near the doorway for some time as Magni eventually sat up and turned his stubby feet to the floor. Normally, the winter-chilled surface would have him quickly stammering towards the snowy colored bear-skin rug at the foot of his bed, but he did not flinch that time. He stood up slowly and made his way to his mother to hold her—really, so she could hold him—as the distant clip-clop sounds of the Ironforge Magistrate's swift moving ram made its way up the mountain road.

The support of the Bronzebeard Clan was overwhelming in the days to come. Food, wine, blankets, and many other gifts would be laid at the front door of their cottage. Mourning is never an easy emotional ceremony to handle especially when one has laid a parent to rest. But the dignitaries representing the many races of the Alliance who came to pay their respects certainly helped and made the event much more special. Looking back, Magni remembers first meeting Uther Lightbringer who he would later stand beside in battle against the Horde during The Second War. The irony of the entire affair, though, was the presence of a very young Orc named Thrall for whom Magni can still recall seeing silently stand near some trees on an adjacent hill. The grief for him back then was too overwhelming to comprehend the significance of an Orc visiting the lands of Dun Morogh, but Magni senses it now and it has always laid heavy on his heart.

A sudden burst of Wintery wind kicks open a small kitchen window near Magni jolting him from his memories. Without looking up, he slowly stands and shuffles around the table to close it. Peering outside through the snow laden landscape, he hears the howling cry of a distant wolf. Shutting the hinged window and latching it securely, Magni lets out a low groan from deep in his throat. He's been alone for quite a while now but there is something about today that seems to exacerbate the feeling. Of all the honor he's felt, people he's fought beside, liberties he's preserved, none of it means much to him now. Humbly and realistically, he accepts life it is and that his time has come and gone and is carefully drawing to a final close. But his instincts to be a leader haven't died and he can't help but feel like there is more he could have done or could be doing.

If one were to ask any one of the Dwarves now residing in Ironforge, he or she would quickly hear the tails of the legacy he has left behind with nary a mention of what was not. From the fortifications to the city and region to the stern but fair influence he had over the rival Clans, Magni was certainly a well loved King. In the present, of course, he is still revered and somewhere out in the kingdom is a young, little-known Dwarf who idolizes him as much as he respects Modimus. But isn't that the case with all of mankind that ambitiously seeks success? To humbly push aside his successes and continue to desire to do more even unto his dying breath.

The tea kettle begins to bring up its subtle and then sudden whistle. Today, the weather looks to be calm with the wind moving gently Eastward though it doesn't shroud the looming, dark clouds near the Blackrock Mountains. Sinister as they may appear, Magni knows rain is coming. It rained that day he remembers and he knows the smell, the feel he gets in his very bones. The years have been fairly good to him and he has grown to admire that sense of rain, looking forward to the continued nurturing Mother Earth is going to bring to his kingdom—his former kingdom. It is hope for him.

Modi purrs loudly from his stony perch by the window as Magni sips his tea. The parchment scrolls are on the table facing up and next to a wool doily his mother made years ago. With the wind gently howling outside, today feels much like it did many years ago. He can see up the stairs to the hallway as the shadow of the hall window makes a line along the wall just before his old bedroom door. With a sense of déjà vu, Magni lets out a sigh and takes in the moment. Again.

CMW

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Little do men perceive what solitude is, and how far it extendeth. For a crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures, and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love.

Sir Francis Bacon
1561-1626

I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud

I WANDERED lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed--and gazed--but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

William Wordsworth
1770–1850, English Poet

Monday, March 8, 2010

It Rained

It rained the day he left home. Very little light shone through the dark clouds that morning but the blind ambition he subconsciously felt drove him to set out and find a new life. He was 14 and behind him, drawing smaller into the distance, was a shabby house, a drunken father passed out on the couch, and a mother missing for two years. The wind kicked up his collar as he adjusted his knapsack and pushed each foot in front of the other. He could hear the rhythm of the gravely road crunching beneath his shoes as he struggled to sort his thoughts.

Winter was coming and the chill in the air tried to bite him to the bone. His experiences left behind were barely a forethought and numb to nearly all emotion, he merely focused on the road a few feet in front of him. The only goal he had at that time was to get as far away from where he grew up as possible. He'd done his fair share of crying, today was a new day and one he may not have wanted to get through but knew he had to.

The barley fields rustled to and fro with the wind as a dog barked from a distant farm house. His forehead ached from the jab he took from his father the night before. There was still dried blood around the swollen cut but he'd endured worse. He rubbed around his wound then his eyes tired from the sleepless night he had. This new chapter of his life was to end up being the first chapter in the end.

He quickened his pace upon hearing the horn of the train at the nearby depot. The farm town he grew up near only had five buildings along State St.: The livery, a market, post office, Sheriff's office, and the bar where his father spent what little money the family had. The depot was a quarter mile outside of town and he knew the horn signaled the train was setting out West for Pennsylvania. His heart beat rapidly inside his chest as his mind pushed his instinct to get on that train.

Each week it was the same line-up of the engine, coal car, three flat-beds for grain bushels, two cargo cars, and the caboose. When he was a child, he used to spend time up the hill from the house along the tracks with his younger brother lining up pennies for the train wheels to squish. They would steal them from their father's dresser drawer while he was out drinking – two a week.

A few years ago, they were caught stealing the pennies and beaten to within an inch of their lives. That same night, his brother got up crying due to the painful welts on his legs and buttocks. Limping slightly, he slowly made his way down the hall to their parents' room to seek comfort from their mother. She was gone – off to New York City to eventually find work as a prostitute. In her place was anger wielded by their father. His brother never did come back to their room that night and the next day, when he awoke, he stared out the window with no expression. In the back yard was his father patting a mound of dirt with the shovel.

A tear worked its way down his cheek and he wiped it away with the back of his hand. The train was close and he knew he had to get a good run going to jump on. The first cargo car approached, the doors open as they typically were, and he readied to make the leap. Tossing his knapsack aboard, he pushed his right arm down onto the floor, got a few more high steps in, and heaved upwards onto his chest. He scuttled in carefully and flipped around on his seat, he could feel the tension in his back and shoulders release as he watched the barley field zip away. Like an exhausted old man, he let out a sigh and closed his eyes to feel the breeze go across his face.

Once into Pennsylvania, he decided it was not far enough away from where he came and continued on. Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri … each state passed and with every mile, he could feel it just wasn't enough. It took nearly a year but the train made its final stop in Los Angeles, California. Gazing Northward, he could make out the letters H-O-L-L-Y-W being constructed on a hillside and decided that was where he would head. Of course, the entire area was something he'd never seen before or even imagined. With so many buildings, automobiles, power lines, and everything else that defined an early 20th Century metropolis, it was overwhelming to behold.

It didn't take long to find a job helping set up and groom the greenery for the film entitled “Sherlock, Jr.” Meeting Buster Keaton would have been quite the breathless moment for nearly anyone in those days but he had no idea who this man was and just continued on working diligently. The years of abuse made him a quiet boy who kept his head down but many he would work with over the years always looked out for him. Not one moment on in his entire life would he go without food to eat or a roof over his head.

Never married and only a few friends to speak of, in his latter years he would retire to Toluca Lake. He was able to afford a Frank Lloyd Wright inspired home where he would live out his days painting garden scenes. 827 was the total number of feature films he would work on before passing away and finishing the final chapter of his life. Not even with his last breath did he tell of his story and trek across the United States from October, 1922 to August, 1923. He is nameless, this is his story, and it rained the day he was laid to rest.

CMW

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Tea Kettle and the Cornfield

Each morning, Clyde would get up and slowly make his way down the thin, creaky stairs and today was no different except for a feeling. At the landing, he stops to catch his breath and at the same time, he takes in two lung fulls of fresh, farm air. Clyde's an elderly gent, living in the farm house his great-grandfather built in 1874. Though times have changed, the encroaching effects of city life have not reached his part of the country.

Socks skitters by then quickly turns around to graze up against Clyde's leg. With a purr and two sweeps, he heads back into the front room to take his spot at the bay window. Clyde takes one last inhale of the dewy air and grins peacefully. He strolls into the kitchen to begin his morning ritual: Hot tea, seven grain toast with real butter, and the Farmer's Almanac. It was something his father did when he was just a boy. Clyde learned to run a farm, raise the horses, harvest the corn, and be the longevity his father never got to see. He drifts into memory ...

It was just before the sun came up during the Spring in 1940. Clyde felt the pressure of his door to his room before he even heard the swing or saw it open. He seemed to know to open his eyes before he even knew what was going on. Stumbling in was Clyde's mother; eyes and cheeks saturated with tears but she never made a sound. She was always a quiet woman even during the toughest of times. She stood with the dawn's creeping light coming in from the hall window behind her making her seem more like a shadow. As she eased into the room silently, Clyde could see the glinting of his night light on her cheeks. Then he saw her eyes. Saw into them and saw what she was quietly not saying.

He gazed up and stared at the ceiling feeling a tear well into the corner of his left eye. It took a moment before the warm tear made a cool streak down his cheek but he knew what happened. His mother stayed in the doorway for some time as Clyde eventually sat up and turned his small feet to the floor. Normally, the winter-influenced wood would have him quickly grabbing his slippers with his two big toes from under the bed but he did not flinch that time. He stood up slowly and made his way to his mother to hold her--so she could hold him as the sirens of a distant ambulance made its way up Elwood Country Rd.

The tea kettle began to bring up its quiet and then sudden whistle. Today's weather calls for dissipating fog in the morning, sunny skies with patchy clouds, and possible showers by late afternoon. Clyde knew rain was coming, though. It rained that day he remembers and he knows that smell; that feel he gets in his very bones. The years have been fairly good to him, he has grown to admire that sense of rain and looks forward to the continued nurturing Mother Nature is going to give his corn crops today. It's hope for him.

Socks purrs loudly from the window seat as Clyde sips his tea. The Almanac is on the table folded open with the pages down just off center of the lace doily his mother made years ago. He can see up the stairs to the hallway as the shadow of the hall window makes a line along the wall just before his old bedroom door. Clyde lets out a sigh and takes in the moment. Again.

CMW

Saturday, February 6, 2010

An Old Man's Winter Night

All out of doors looked darkly in at him
Through the thin frost, almost in separate stars,
That gathers on the pane in empty rooms.
What kept his eyes from giving back the gaze
Was the lamp tilted near them in his hand.
What kept him from remembering what it was
That brought him to that creaking room was age.
He stood with barrels round him -- at a loss.
And having scared the cellar under him
In clomping there, he scared it once again
In clomping off; -- and scared the outer night,
Which has its sounds, familiar, like the roar
Of trees and crack of branches, common things,
But nothing so like beating on a box.
A light he was to no one but himself
Where now he sat, concerned with he knew what,
A quiet light, and then not even that.
He consigned to the moon, such as she was,
So late-arising, to the broken moon
As better than the sun in any case
For such a charge, his snow upon the roof,
His icicles along the wall to keep;
And slept. The log that shifted with a jolt
Once in the stove, disturbed him and he shifted,
And eased his heavy breathing, but still slept.
One aged man -- one man -- can't keep a house,
A farm, a countryside, or if he can,
It's thus he does it of a winter night.

Robert Frost
1874–1963, American poet

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

When You Are Old....

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,

And nodding by the fire, take down this book,

And slowly read, and dream of the soft look

Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,

And loved your beauty with love false or true,

But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,

And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,

Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled

And paced upon the mountains overhead

And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

William Butler Yeats
1865-1939, Irish Poet, Playwright

Monday, January 25, 2010

An Easily Forgotten Legacy

He fumbled for his keys as he approached the front door of his country cottage down at the end of the long, nameless dirt road. If it wasn't the arthritis in his left foot that was acting up this evening, it was his back straining as he stepped up onto the front porch. Finally finding the correct key as he stood face to face with the off-white colored door, he paused a moment looking down at the stoop. His breathing slowed as he stepped into the foyer, the musty smells of his 80 year old home reaching his nostrils. Placing his keys and wallet on the mirrored table next to the coat and hat rack, he stood silently for a moment and took in a deep breath. With a long sigh, he inched his way into the kitchen to start his dinner.

His eyes were sad, his face long and wrinkled; gray whiskers peaked out from behind his pale skin and the creases from his down-turned lips seemed to ease into their normal position as he let his work demeanor melt off. White streaked short blond hair, freckles still showing on his arms after all these years, and tall, he held a commanding appearance at first glance but his gaze would give him away to the more sensitive observer. He had a delightful chuckle when he laughed and a warm heart for others, but it merely masked another side of him few people ever knew … or would ever know.

Peter's home was much like those you'd see in the 1940s. Imperfect glass in the windows distorting the country view, lacy linens hanging on the outside of his drab window blinds, dingy wallpaper that had periodic fleur-de-lis patterns peppered about, creaky wood floors each room with their own sound giving away which one the walker was in, black and white photos of his various family members strewn about the walls, the long mantel over the fireplace with various knickknacks from around the world, and disrupted dust particles slowly drifting through the sunset light that seeped into the room. It wasn't a very big home but it was where he was most comfortable.

Two months ago, Peter turned 68. He was nearing the end of his illustrious career with the company he had joined in his mid-thirties. Finally finding his niche in life professionally, he quickly worked up the ladder to become a supervisor, a manager, a district manager, vice president, and finally, regional vice president for the European offices. Many people he worked with admired Peter for his tenacity and ability to constantly do well at his job but their admiration did not carry on much further. You see, he was easily likable but just as easily forgotten.

It all started during his younger years in middle school. Peter quickly went from being a popular, social boy in elementary school to being one of the most bullied and mocked children in his class. Coming from a sheltered, conservative home, Peter's parents knew what turmoil he was experiencing in school but felt it best to let him sort it all out on his own. Sadly, it only created a deep lack of self-esteem and an insecurity inside he would never be rid of. Although quite an eccentric, tactile, and animated man during his early adult years, Peter could never quite shake his deep desires to be liked by all, loved by someone, and constantly reminded of how great he was as a worker and person. Conceptually, he could never quite understand why most everyone he met would like him in passing, but never make an effort to develop something more meaningful as time went on.

Fortunately, Peter enjoyed success in his work and although it never quite satisfied his deeper desires, it was enough to get him to this point in life. Now, with only a few months left before his retirement was to begin, he still continued his ritual of shaking off the “work Peter” and donning the “lonely Peter” as he crossed his front doorstep. Even though at home he felt comfortable—closed off from the rest of the world in an environment that pleased him and only him—it still did not remove the ache he felt in his heart knowing he was going to pass along through the rest of his life alone. Never married, no kids, and his only true friend of sixty one years having passed away recently from cancer, Peter's life was now drawing to a very solitary close. Closing in such a way that routine and normalcy would nary skip a beat.

As he slept that night, he felt warmth creep up from his toes which was not something he was used to. Having poor circulation in his limbs, Peter almost always felt chilly during the cooler Spring evenings. He turned his eyes to the window to see the moon and star light shimmer on the leaves of the foliage outside. A sense of peace suddenly washed away his constant feelings of loneliness and Peter smiled gently. His legs were beginning to feel warm and somewhere inside, he knew it was time. His eyes rolled back and shut as he sniffed the old, musty air one more time. One last time before his mind went dark.

It seemed like days before Peter began to wake. He could feel the bright light coming through his eyelids and dared not open them too quickly. Awareness seemed to be much more prevalent in his mind and more importantly, in his emotions. Easing his eyes open he could feel the strain of his pupils as they attempted to adjust to the brightness. There was no panic, no pain, his left foot felt nimble again, his back no longer ached, but his heart still felt a heaviness. As he worked into the bright blindness that welcomed him, he felt the presence of someone else next to him. Peter's voice cracked as he greeted the stranger. Then he heard a voice; a voice that seemed to pierce directly into his soul, a voice he not only heard but felt.

The voice said to him, “There is a strange charm in the thoughts of a good legacy which wondrously removed the sorrow that others would have otherwise felt for your death. You lived and never stopped living, therefore you have left such a legacy.”

CMW